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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082965">Ladies Man's Riposte</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokybaltic/pseuds/smokybaltic'>smokybaltic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Banter, F/M, Magical Accidents, Seduction, Sexual Tension, Sirius Black Lives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:27:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082965</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokybaltic/pseuds/smokybaltic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Unspeakable Granger should probably be more concerned about Sirius Black's mysterious reappearance than his devilish charm, but the man has a way with words.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Hermione Granger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hermione's Haven Roll-A-Drabble</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ladies Man's Riposte</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written for Hermione’s Haven February 2021 Roll-A-Drabble, and my roll was Sirius Black/Magical Accident.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>By the time Sirius Black was due in her office, Hermione already had a pretty good handle on his case.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Three days ago the Department of Mysteries was undergoing a security overhaul, including the casting and dismantling of foundational wards, when the Veil had unexpectedly expelled the unconscious forms of Sirius Black and Odie Smudget, a luckless janitor who had last reported to work some eleven years prior. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They reported no awareness of the passage of time since falling through the enigmatic archway, only an impression of having had pleasant dreams. So, following a thorough examination by Healers and exhaustive testing, they were reunited with their loved ones. According to Harry and Remus, Sirius was very much his old self. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost excessively so, Remus had told her with fond exasperation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All that remained was a final interview with an Unspeakable, which is what brought Sirius strolling into Hermione’s little DoM office. The polite smile she had at the ready took an abrupt turn toward stupefaction as she was struck by how very different 36 looks when you're 24 years old, as opposed to 16. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tall and lean, Sirius' dark hair was at his shoulders, and the tattoos peeking out from his cuffs and collar contrasted with his elegant waistcoat and trousers in a way Hermione found almost worryingly sexy. A roguish smile curled his lips when his startlingly gray eyes met hers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he'd been a stranger at a bar she'd never have had the nerve to approach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hermione Granger," the name rolled off his tongue sounding heavy and sweet, "I've heard all about you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sirius Black," she rounded her desk to buss his cheek, not missing the way his gaze meandered over her, "Welcome back."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gestured for him to sit but he took up an inspection of her office instead, that old Marauder mischief plain on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I understand you live in my house," he said off-handedly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She leaned back against her desk, "Yes, well, Harry and I fell into being flatmates after the war. I've spoken to him though, I'll start looking-"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, no. Please, I'm delighted to hear it," he winked over his shoulder, </span>
  <span>"Saves me the trouble of convincing you to come home with me." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes and made a show of jotting a note, "Flirtation skills: extremely rusty."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I must say I disagree with your evaluation. Nevertheless, I'm willing to move on to the foreplay portion of the examination. I believe you'll find I have a particular aptitude for it." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Even if I'm generous enough to assume there was proficiency to begin with, I imagine you might be off your game these days." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Genius is timeless and irrepressible, darling."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Genius, or insanity?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> a Black. But I think you'll find the principle difference between the two is results."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Delusions of grandeur," she pretended to scribble down, smirking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned from her bookshelf, arms wide, "Just say the word and I can provide a practical demonstration."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're old enough to be my father, you know," she countered, attempting to offset the fact she'd definitely been checking out his arse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Only by technicality. According to the Healers I haven't aged a day in the last eight years."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And haven't matured a day in the last two decades," she muttered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I daresay you're right, which </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> put us on rather unequal footing: you, such a mature, intrepid woman of, what? 25? And me practically a teenager. It's rather naughty of you really, but I'm willing to overlook it." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Your magnanimity knows no bounds."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You'll find me generous in all things," he practically purred. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione could feel her cheeks heating, to say nothing of the state of her poor knickers. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lock it down Hermione,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she mentally chided herself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And is this alleged beneficence something you picked up in the great beyond?" she asked, attempting to get her interview on track. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius groaned, "You know, it's rather dull just repeating variations of 'had myself a nice kip'. If you insist on discussing it, we could do it more comfortably over drinks by the fire at home." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That would be more comfortable perhaps, but rather less professional."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah, but I'd insist on the utmost professionalism: tight bun, glasses, little pencil skirt, garters…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You really think you can pull that outfit off?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius threw his head back, laughing, "Oh kitten, we are going to have so much </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sauntered toward her, gaze tracking meaningfully from thighs to decolletage to mouth. She shifted back so she was perched on her desk, trying to maintain her cool as he advanced.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes narrowed, "You know, I think the obvious explanation for your return is someone accidentally summoning a menace when they meant to dispel it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Really? My money was on the universe setting to rights the injustice of a world deprived of my charms."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She arched a brow, "Bit full of yourself, aren't you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If I had my way, it's you who'd be full of me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"<em>Merlin</em>, Sirius," she wrinkled her nose.
</span></p>
<p>
  <span>"Too much?" he grinned unrepentantly, inches away now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uh, </span>
  <em>yeah</em>. I thought you were supposed to be suave?"
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I guess I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> out of practice. Give an old man a break, won't you?" his eyes sparkled as he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, "I've been dead most of a decade."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Seriously though," she swallowed nervously, her heart racing, "It was almost certainly the new security wards evicting you. Like an intruder."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm trespassing on the afterlife... that ought to be good for a Marauder badge of honour."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So you're trouble in this life </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> the next, is what you're telling me." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The jibe drew a low chuckle from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, security wards, was it?" his hands were running up and down her thighs now, slowly drawing the hem of her skirt higher, </span>
  <span>"And how are the wards on this office? Locking? Silencing? All working?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmhmm," her eyes were fixed on his lips, as she spread her legs to accommodate his narrow hips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Excellent."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Petition to make drabbles 2500 words?? Lol<br/>I would've liked to bring you some smut, but all I could manage was a hasty seduction. Sorry for the tease!</p>
<p>Gotta love/hate the drabble.</p>
<p>If you have the time, I'd really appreciate a comment or kudos!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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